by Furnishly | Jul 1, 2022 | Design Inspiration, Style
Unless you’re a cranky toddler, I think we can all agree that naps are good — wonderful, even. But when it comes to the type and style of nap, though, I’ve learned that people have strong opinions. Apartment Therapy’s editorial team is no exception. I challenged some of our staff to debate over their preferred nap spot, and try to convince everyone else that they have the superior sleep situation.
Check out how it all went down in our Slack conversation below [lightly edited and condensed].
Tara Bellucci (News & Culture Director): hello @here who’s ready to throw down about NAPPING
Megan Baker (Home Projects Director): ok which one of us is wrong, ie which one of us thinks bed naps are superior
Megan: i didn’t come to play
i came to lay
on a couch
Tara: ok let’s start with opening statements of 1-2 sentences of your position and go from there
Terri: several people are typing
Megan: ok here is where i stand: beds are for SLEEPING and a nap is not SLEEPING. a nap is in its own category entirely
Charli: If I’m at home, and not a hotel, couch naps reign supreme. When I go to bed, it’s an experience, and I don’t want it to be interrupted or cut short. My bed is my oasis. So when I need to nap, the couch is the perfect place. I feel like I’m sneaking in extra rest/self care. Like an added bonus.
Maddie: bed naps are far and away the superior naps, but you have to use a blanket on TOP of your covers. you can’t get under your comforter. that is only for night sleeping
Terri: i agree, comforters are NOT for naps
Adrienne Breaux (Tours Director): The reason why couch naps are superior: Naps are a little bit naughty. They’re like little stolen moments of slumber. When the rest of the world is toiling away at work, you’re crawling into your own personal heaven of quiet. So they HAVE to be in any place other than the bed. Because bed is for night sleeping only, and I think when you sleep under the covers, you are confusing your brain and body
I mean, I agree that if there’s a bed nap, it HAS to be on top of the covers
I also sometimes will lay perpendicular
Charli: If I had to “nap in bed” (that’s not a thing) I would certainly do it on top of the comforter.
Megan: adrienne, i fully agree. i have succumbed to bed naps, usually by accident when i am trying to read, and i always wake up in total confusion
Maddie: i understand that couch nap people believe a bed is a sacred place for sleeping, but my no under-the-comforter rule fixes this
Terri: my position is thus: both naps are good, but happen under different circumstances. couch naps, for me, are always accidental: i’m reading or watching tv, and then the sweet, sweet claws of slumber grasp me and i melt away
bed naps are intentional and i WILL AND DO flop myself onto bed for a quick midday power nap as needed
Tara: do y’all just have the world’s comfiest couches tho?
Megan: no i can sleep literally sitting up
i do not need a comfy couch
although i will say mine is pretty comfy, albeit a tiny bit short for a full lay-down
Adrienne: i have a nap CORNER
it’s an oversized lounge chair from the ’70s along with a heavy pouf
Charli: I too have a nap couch/corner, it’s divine — good sunlight and breeze for afternoon spring naps, a window, and it was an investment.
Megan: i don’t like to be in bed in not pajamas. address please
Maddie: i nap in bed in sweatpants
Terri: NAP CLOTHES?
(i know nap dresses are a thing, but!)
Megan: i am very grossed out by outside clothes in bed
i know that’s not the topic here but it’s how i feel
Adrienne: strong no outside clothes on bed
Charli: Nap clothes is a thing. I have nap leggings and outside leggings.
No bras for naps! Ever!
Terri: …no bras ever, period
Adrienne: bra ALWAYS comes off for naps
Megan: i will admit here that most of my clothes are now nap clothes
so i don’t change if i’m on the couch
Maddie: also you can only take a couch nap if other people aren’t around
unless you dont mind snoozing in front of people just walking by you i guess
Megan: depends on who the people are!
Charli: I can sleep around anyone. Self care. LOL
Adrienne: if other people are around, you have to create physical and mental barriers
for example, i will sometimes create a pillow fort
Adrienne: so you need a light and sound blocker first
which is where the head one comes in
but then you also need to feel surrounded and supported, which is where the top and leg pillows come in
Charli: I love that you have photos 💀
Megan: i do something not as extreme but similar, adrienne
if i really want to zone into my nap, i turn my face toward the back of the couch
and pull up a blanket real high
Terri: i actually sleep better with people around
quiets down the loud thoughts in my mind, AND feels sneaky, which makes sleep more appealing!
Megan: @Terri do you do earbuds or anything?
Terri: no, they are v distracting and annoying
Charli: I have a nap playlist too
Maddie: a nap playlist is bonkers. WHITE NOISE ONLY
GIVE ME LOUD FANS
Charli: Anita Baker’s voice always rocks me to sleep! And Nina Simone too
Adrienne: i would prefer gentle sounds of nature but a lot of times i have to do ear plugs
wow anyone who can fall asleep to music… sorry you’ve lost me on this one Charli
white noise or no noise only please
Megan: i love a nap playlist for a plane but for home naps i go au naturale, baby
my go-to sleep album for a decade has been plans by death cab for cutie
Maddie: my white noise machine sets the mood for nap time
Terri: nature sounds, podcasts, tv, etc. i can fall asleep to, but i’ve never tried music
Charli: I hear you, Adrienne! Nature’s playlist is a song too. The birds on the weekends outside my window understand the assignment!
Megan: i use white noise for my nighttime sleep! never daytime sleep
Adrienne: the best nap in the entire world is a friday afternoon nap while it’s thunderstorming
tell me i’m wrong
Charli: Rain naps are a must!!
Terri: rain naps are the BEST
Adrienne: all pets cuddled up
Megan: ok who here is a prolific fall-asleep-wherever-whenever-if-i-am-tired napper
Adrienne: i weirdly can’t sleep everywhere
i do need a lot of things to line up
Maddie: ok i know this isn’t part of the discourse right now, but falling asleep as a passenger in car? so easy, so good
Terri: perhaps the best nap, maddie
Megan: omg
ok that’s the real wild card here
i LOVE car naps
Adrienne: i can’t ever get comfortable!
y’all are wrong!
Tara: i always feel bad if I’m the only other person in the car tho
Megan: sometimes when i am sleepy in a car i just wish that the drive would be another hour or two
Terri: saaaame, you can even like feel when the end of the road trip is near, even as you’re napping
Adrienne: honestly i get very sleepy when i drive i can’t drive anywhere long distance when it’s my normal nap time i worry
Megan: i have fallen asleep on: cars, trains, planes, boats
Maddie: it reminds me of how some people put baby carriers on top of dryers to get them to sleep. bc of the rocking or whatever. that is a car nap for me
Megan: i fell asleep on a passenger ferry sitting in a dining chair once
i would nap on a dryer
Charli: Ranking Naps: 1. Beach/Vacation outside naps. 2. Couch naps. 3. car naps. 4. Midday naps, period.
Megan: ok so for couch and/or bed naps, what is your blanket situation
Maddie: you don’t need any of these fancy accessories for a bed nap, just saying
Adrienne: sofa throw at maximum!
but honestly i like a jacket or sweater thrown over me a tad
Megan: don’t you get chilled??
Maddie: a light blanket for a bed nap. sometimes no blanket if i’m feeling really sleepy
Charli: soft throw only!!
Megan: wow
ok
i am outnumbered here
i want to be enveloped in blanket
Terri: i do a little fetal position curl-up and self-heat
Charli: I like blanket + breeze when I can for my couch naps. The perfect combo!
Megan: i want the largest blanket possible
so it covers me all the way to my toes
and has enough extra to roll up next to my face
Tara: why are sofa throws so mis-sized
Adrienne: they are never long enough to pull up to my neck and reach my feet at the same time
Megan: this is the real scandal!!!!
but i also fetal roll so it’s usually okay
i end up using multiple to be able to cover my toesies
Adrienne: see that’s where pets and pillows can come into play
you can use them to strategically cover open spots
Adrienne: i also really, really do not want my partner to nap with me
this is my time
this is not cuddle time
pets only
Charli: Agreed! No new (nap) friends. It’ a solo activity.
Put some respect on my naps.
Maddie: i love when my dog sleeps in her bed beside mine because the sound of her snoring puts me to sleep
Charli: Pets are great warmth. They’re also nap magnets. They know when a good couch nap is happening and run to join!
Tara: what’s your nap length
Adrienne: i nap… for a long time
it’s longer than a normal human
Adrienne: okay but i’m not even asleep in 5 minutes
that’s not a nap you’re just closing your eyes
Megan: i’d say my ideal is an hourish
i preface this by saying i do not often nap on purpose
my ideal nap is accidental
Terri: i will wake up and WANT to nap longer, but i know that leads me down a path of destruction
i will wake up in another century if i do that
Charli: Weekend naps, minimum an hour. Weekday “disco naps” minimum 25 minutes lol
Maddie: wait…. 5 minutes??? is not??? a nap???
Terri: y’all ever do a coffee nap
i love those
Megan: it’s a “disco nap”
Adrienne: that’s what i’m saying that’s just closing your eyes
THESE AREN’T OFFICIALLY NAPS Y’ALL ARE OUT OF THE CLUB
Terri: i know!!! but like… i’ll set a timer for 20 mins and then jolt up 5 mins later!
Megan: wow terri
that’s a super power
Terri: haaaave i mentioned i have sleep issues?
lol
Megan: my trouble with naps is usually that i get sucked too deep in
Charli: I want to be your nap guide, Terri
Terri: i used to be a deeeep deep napper, but that just fucked up my nighttime sleep to an unbelievable degree
Tara: is there a nap length where it’s no longer a nap and is a sleep
or is sleep a place
Charli: Good question, Tara! I feel like if I slept more than 2 hours, I probably should have gone to bed…lol
Adrienne: an hour to hour and a half is an actual nap and the way it should be i feel strongly
Megan: @Charli i feel the same
Adrienne: you don’t actually get any sleep if it’s any shorter!?!?
i nap often and i sleep a ton at night YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL
Terri: but the point of napping isn’t sleep, it’s rest
Maddie: anywhere between 30 mins and 1.5 hours works for me
Megan: anything less than an hour is just “shutting my eyes”
i feel like it’s between the two!
rest is 10 minutes of staring at the ceiling
Tara: ok yes what is everyone hoping to get from naps?
Terri: just a little refreshment, for me
Megan: a nap is a baby snooze
a sleep is a full bedtime
Charli: If I sleep less than 25-30 minutes my heart races when I get up and I feel worse, not better
Maddie: when i nap, i hope to get up afterward and have my eyelids not be heavy anymore
Adrienne: i’m fully looking to fall asleep and wake up not feeling tired.
yes! my head feels heavy when i’m sleepy and need a nap
Megan: yeah i want to feel awake again
Charli: I’m hoping to rest my mind and body for a moment to recharge
Adrienne: i wake up and i have energy and i feel less stressed
Maddie: “yeah i want to feel awake again” evergreen tweet
Charli: Socks on or off for naps? I can’t do socks in bed or naps! (like bras)
Adrienne: i wear socks 24/7
Terri: never socks whilst sleeping
must keep the feet open to the elements
Tara: my feet are always cold lately so i’m team sock
Megan: mmm good question, i don’t like socks for bed sleeps but i can get into socks for couch sleeps
yeah i just want to be cozy
Maddie: i will wear socks if i choose no blanket tho
Megan: i’m completely baffled by no blanket
Adrienne: as a taurus i’m HORRIFIED by no coverage or extra coziness
Megan: whenever i do any length of sleep i get chilly
Terri: as an aries, you’re all wrong
Adrienne: but tauruses are the queens of comfort we do reign supreme about these things
Terri: guys i really want to nap now
i’m not even tired
but i want the sensation
Charli: Tara, if we take a nap after this do we get extra credit?
Megan: once, when we’d just moved in and didn’t have any furniture and i just wanted the tiniest bit of sleep
i laid down with my head on the dog bed
it was not terrible
Adrienne: i have… absolutely napped on a dog bed or two in my life
just like, you think you’re cuddling the dog… but then you fall asleep
Tara: ok closing arguments… have you learned anything new? do you want to share a favorite nap of all time (or recently)
Terri: i learned that my naps are too short for this crew
Adrienne: closing argument is that if they really don’t make you feel good, don’t do them. but if you’re not napping because you think you shouldn’t or something, let yourself nap!
Megan: i’m interested in trying a smaller nap but i cannot do five min, sorry terri
Adrienne: embrace napping! it’s not laziness it’s self care!
Megan: fully agree
nap the way you like to nap
Maddie: “LET YOURSELF NAP”
Megan: be the nap you want to see in the world
Adrienne: and i personally think that you SHOULD be quiet if someone around you is trying to nap that’s just nap courtesy
Terri: yeah no i refrain from naps because my insomnia gets so bad, but my doctor is like “sleep is sleep. please nap and don’t worry about it”
Charli: I learned that I might sleep even better without music and I’d like to share that if you can afternoon Couch Nap under a cross breeze on a weekend afternoon, it’s a game changer! This was fun everyone!
Maddie: i want to share a recent fave nap of mine. i was very sleepy from waking up super early, so i drank some cold brew to perk myself up. but it didn’t work so i somehow laid down for a 30 min nap and woke up feeling on top of the world
Terri: THAT’S A COFFEE NAP
i love them
Megan: oooh i need to try a coffee nap
that is my assignment for next week
Charli: I need coffee nap instructions!
Terri: drink something caffeinated, take a nap, and you’ll wake up like 15-30 mins later ready to take on the day
the caffeine kicks in and wakes you up and carries you through
Megan: my best naps? were when i woke up early with our puppy while he was potty training
and i would lay him on my chest and just snooze a little bit before real morning
it was perfect
Tara: everyone try a new nap and report back
Charli: Love that, Tara! Challenge accepted
Megan: i can’t wait to rock my nap world
Tara Bellucci
News and Culture Director
Tara is Apartment Therapy’s News & Culture Director. When not scrolling through Instagram double-tapping pet pics and astrology memes, you’ll find her thrift shopping around Boston, kayaking on the Charles, and trying not to buy more plants.
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by Furnishly | Jul 1, 2022 | Design Inspiration, Style
What does meaningful rest look like? It’s a question I continuously grapple with both professionally and personally. As a freelance writer who works in the fast-paced world of digital media, I often deprioritize rest for fear of missing the next big news story. However, I’m also a student of the stars. If the astrology practice I’ve spent years cultivating has taught me one thing, it’s the necessity of R&R.
Astrology is all about drawing parallels between celestial movements and real-life events down here on Earth. You might have heard the ancient maxim “as above, so below,” which is something of a mantra among astrologers. Regardless of whether you “believe” in it, this guiding principle reflects a larger truth: To reach our highest potential, we must tend to our innermost needs with care and intention. In the words of late feminist scholar Audre Lorde, prioritizing rest “is not self-indulgent, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”
Luckily, the stars also offer some insight into which activities feel most restful and restorative for each of us. Read on to learn more about how best to unwind based on your zodiac sign. If you’re familiar with your full astrological birth chart, you can also consult the blurbs for your Moon sign, which represents your physical body and emotions, and your Venus sign, which describes what you find pleasurable.
Recommended activity: Make art for yourself
As the fiery self-starter of the zodiac, you’re always eager to share your passions with the world. You also run the risk of burning out. To combat this tendency, implement a private creative practice. Whether you opt for journaling, writing poetry, or making visual art, regular creative contemplation will encourage you to turn inward for inspiration and affirmation. In these demanding times, making art for your own enjoyment is a small but profound rebellion.
Recommended activity: Move with intention
Those born under this sensual Earth sign are highly tactile, although your fixed nature can keep you stuck in the same place, mentally or physically, for long periods of time. Gentle, intentional forms of movement, such as yoga, stretching, or walking, are great ways to build inertia and release stagnant energy. The more fun you can have in the process, the better — your pleasure-seeking, Venus-ruled heart will thank you.
Recommended activity: Reconnect with nature
Unable to quiet those racing thoughts? Satisfy your characteristic curiosity with a mindful nature walk. From birdwatching to foraging to simply observing the flora and fauna in your neighborhood, the options — and potential rabbit holes to explore — are endless. (Gemini to Gemini, a pro tip: Ditch your headphones or social media feeds in favor of a guidebook or field notebook.)
Recommended activity: Host a friend or loved one
A Moon-ruled homebody, you appreciate creature comforts and view the space you call home as a refuge from our solar world. Why not welcome a loved one into your inner sanctum for a meal or catch-up convo? You might just find that the winning combination of a trusted confidant in a safe space allows you to loosen those crab claws and experience the healing power of vulnerability.
Recommended activity: Schedule a solo night in
Confident and charismatic, you’re usually the life of the party, so those around might view you as an endless source of sunshine. In reality, you need to replenish your physical and emotional reserves just like everybody else. Carve out some time for a solo night in, and be sure to fuel yourself with food that brings you comfort, be it a home-cooked meal or takeout from your favorite restaurant.
Recommended activity: Enjoy some genuine entertainment
Mercury’s influence makes you attentive and analytical, and you wear this skillset like a badge of honor in your public life. When it comes time to unwind, however, you struggle, directing your critical eye inward. Consider this your permission slip to be entertained. Binge-watch that mind-numbing reality TV show you’ve eyed from afar, or flick through the fantasy novel on your bedside table. Rest isn’t something you have to earn, I promise.
Recommended activity: Organize your space
You value all things aesthetically pleasing and purposeful, but your airy nature often scatters your attention in a million and one directions. Center yourself by taking time to organize your space and belongings. Most people wouldn’t find this activity relaxing, but you’ll delight in the opportunity to appreciate your prized possessions and beautify the space you call home.
Recommended activity: Immerse yourself in a good book or podcast
As a fixed Water sign, you’re hardwired to dislike all things surface-level. Honor your need to delve deep with an immersive, thought-provoking book or podcast episode on a topic that interests you. The genre or medium doesn’t matter as much as the substance. When it hits for you, dear Scorpio, it really hits.
Recommended activity: Experiment with ritual
You crave meaning and purpose, but as a mutable Fire sign, you often end up chasing whatever shiny new thing sparks your interest in the moment. Try cultivating a regular ritual around something you enjoy. This can be as woo-woo as a monthly journaling session around the full moon or as grounded as a weekly treat-yourself coffee run. The point is to make a promise to yourself and keep it — again, and again, and again.
Recommended activity: Shake it out
When was the last time you really, truly let loose? This isn’t a read, dear Capricorn. It’s merely an invitation to embrace your inner Earth sign and experience life instead of intellectualizing it. You’re a living, breathing being. That in and of itself is worth celebrating, so grab your libation of choice and dance it out.
Recommended activity: Spoil yourself
Airy Aquarians are stereotyped as the humanitarians of the zodiacs, but it’s a cliche for a reason: You spend the bulk of your time in service to others, be it your friends, family, or wider community. In the interest of restorative rest, try redirecting that care and attentiveness inward. Go out of your way to do something purely for yourself — get a massage, or go for a solo dinner date. Don’t stress if it feels frivolous. That’s kind of the whole point.
Recommended activity: Try habit tracking
Those born under this mutable water sign experience life as a perpetual ebb and flow. To honor your natural rhythm, consider keeping a dedicated log of your moods, actions, or daily routines. Structured observation of how you spend your time and how it makes you feel can offer insight and foster self-acceptance, empowering you to ride those emotional waves instead of succumbing to their depths.
Sam Manzella
Contributor
Sam is a Brooklyn-based writer/editor specializing in LGBTQ news and culture. She enjoys drinking iced coffee and getting tattooed, although not at the same time.
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by Furnishly | Jun 29, 2022 | Design Inspiration, Style
It’s nearly impossible for me to go a weekday without screens — mostly because I work from home, from a computer, typing all day. But also because my phone is my main method of communication with loved ones: My partner lives across the city, my family lives across the country.
So when I was challenged with going an entire day without screens, I had to be mindful about what kind of screen time I was realistically able to sacrifice. Of course, work items weren’t negotiable. But what about watching YouTube videos during downtime? (I’m a big fan of watching people clean and organize.) That could be nixed.
Other screen items I was willing to forgo for the day included any social media, Pinterest, Reddit, online window shopping, and anything else that could easily move into the mindless territory. That also included TV and reading the lifestyle section of the news on my phone. I wasn’t about to give up texting and FaceTime calls with my partner, my friends, or my family — I consider it valuable and life-giving. That being said, I’ll admit I accidentally messed up when I was sent a very sweet video showcasing the unlikely friendship between a deer and a dog.
Many professionals tout the numerous benefits of going without screens, without social media, and limiting mindless scrolling, even if it’s just for a day. In a study done during 2018-19 at a university, experts found that when participating students detoxed from social media, “most students reported a positive change in mood, reduced anxiety, and improved sleep during the immediate aftermath of the detoxification period.”
Since I don’t have many social media accounts, and don’t use the ones I have that often, my main objective was to decrease the amount of mindless scrolling that I do on other websites like Pinterest and Reddit. But I was hoping that I would still be able to reap some of those same benefits.
What I noticed when I gave up mindless scrolling for a day
The first thing that I really noticed was how frequently I used my phone or computer for mindless entertainment. I was regularly catching myself opening a tab or picking up my phone to do something that was not within the jurisdiction of the allowed screen time that I permitted myself.
Almost immediately, I noticed the impact that removing mindless entertainment had on my productivity levels. By 9:19 a.m., I got started on a non-urgent work task I had been avoiding for days. It wasn’t long before I made the connection that I frequently turn to this kind of screen time in order to procrastinate tasks that I am avoiding and don’t want to complete.
Once work was over and I didn’t have TV to zone out in front of, I looked around the house and started noticing little spots that needed cleaning: My coffee table was dingy and needed to be wiped down, my plants were starting to make a bit of a mess and that needed vacuuming, and my stovetop needed to be cleaned and polished. I also tidied, swept, and did some other little chores — and by the time I was sitting down for dinner, I was completely exhausted.
So after dinner, I called my partner, played with my roommate’s dog, and did some laundry. Before I knew it, I was ready to pass out. I couldn’t even believe I had managed to go the entire day without my regular screen time entertainment.
I didn’t notice a very big change in anxiety levels or improvement in my sleeping patterns — although, if I were to do the experiment for longer than a day, I wonder how it would have impacted these aspects of my daily life.
I don’t think that mindless entertainment on the computer or phone is inherently harmful. I’ll even admit that I was happy to enjoy some Pinterest scrolling the next morning. But in the days following the experiment, I was much more mindful about how frequently I turned to these vices for procrastination.
So even if someone has no intention of removing mindless scrolling from their daily habits altogether, I found it useful even just for a single day.
by Furnishly | Jun 27, 2022 | Design Inspiration, Style
Working is exhausting but, unfortunately for most people, it’s a total necessity. Come Friday evening, after spending 40-plus hours at an office or switching from Zoom call to Zoom call at home, most people are pretty wiped out. And though getting a full night’s sleep every night can ease some of this fatigue, it can also be helpful to take little breaks throughout the day to keep yourself motivated.
Enter “rest snacking,” a phrase we’re officially coining to encompass all the small ways you can rest throughout the day before getting a “full meal” of actual sleep at night. Whether you only have a few seconds between calls or a bit more flexibility, consider working a few of these rest snack breaks into your daily routine to feel instantly refreshed and a bit more rested.
by Furnishly | Jun 27, 2022 | Design Inspiration, Style
As a busy, working mother in a bustling city that never sleeps, I confess that so often I don’t get much of it either. I talk a good game and think I’m doing all the things to relax: have a glass of wine, scroll social media and watch my current screen obsession (sometimes all at the same time). But inevitably when I close my eyes, my mind refuses to quiet down because I haven’t truly decompressed. But given life’s demands, prioritizing downtime is often much easier said than done — the kind of downtime that allows your body a chance to recuperate from the day.
Wellness entrepreneur and public speaker Christina Rice does practice what she preaches. OmNoire, her wellness company, helps women of color embark on global wellness retreats and set up personal and professional guardrails to ensure their total well-being is always a top priority. Rice centers this messaging in her own life, right on down to the automatic response you receive if you email her, which reads, “Thanks for your message! We’re humans first over here and dedicate our lives to spending time with our loved ones and indulging in rest and creative passions. Please allow up to 24-48 hours (longer over holidays and weekends) for a response as I carefully work through my inbox, attend meetings, and tend to timely projects.”
This boundary is not only there so Rice can manage her business, but also so she can eliminate her own personal roadblock to rest — forgetting to take breaks. “I have been an entrepreneur since I was 21, so you’re talking about over 20 years, and I still struggle to this day with the concept of stepping away from the business,” says Rice, who’s based in Atlanta, Georgia. “Over time, I have been stricter with my boundaries for myself.”
Rice isn’t alone in needing to put herself in timeout so she can focus on her mental health and truly disconnect. According to the American Institute of Stress, 55 percent of Americans report having daily stress and 94 percent of workers report feeling chronic stress on their jobs. De-stressing can’t happen without time to rest your mind and body. However, doing so, for some, isn’t as simple — or as possible — as choosing to run off to a spa day, take a vacation or sleep more than eight hours. There are additional everyday factors preventing you from getting optimal rest, many of which have been normalized whether you realize it or not. (Raise your hand if you even feel guilty thinking about taking a break or a little time for yourself.)
Honestly, prioritizing rest in your busy life rarely feels possible when you’re juggling health or personal issues, jobs, family responsibilities and whatever else comes your way. But, like every journey, this one begins with a small step. Getting to good rest takes practice and with small, dedicated adjustments and commitments, some disruptive habits can slowly be changed over time.
Because you don’t need more stress or worry in your life than what may already be present, remember there is no one-size-fits-all method for getting more rest. Here’s what some experts and self-care enthusiasts have to say about identifying and working toward eliminating common rest roadblocks. Find the one that feels most feasible for your lifestyle today and begin taking strides toward ultimately getting more of the rest you deserve.
Stop de-prioritizing sleep.
When I was returning to work from maternity leave, a colleague said I should cherish the 45-minute commute as “me time” because once I got home, the busyness of home life would swap for my job’s demands. For nearly 10 years, she was right. I would be fully engaged with my office or my daughter, neglecting sleep at night to stay up to get things done once she went to bed. I’ve rarely had more than 5 hours of sleep since I became a mom.
“When we’re busy, sleep is one of the first things that’s compromised,” says Stephanie Stahl, a physician and assistant professor of Clinical Medicine at Indiana University. “It really seems to get pushed aside.” However, getting a minimum of seven hours of shut-eye should be at the top of everyone’s to-do list. Says Dr. Stahl, “Sleep is a physiologic need, we have to have it to survive. While rest is important, sleep as a completely different state is absolutely important and essential.” Getting there doesn’t happen overnight, especially for parents or those battling health conditions or illness that don’t allow for a good or comfortable nights’ sleep. Simply acknowledging that you are de-prioritizing rest, will help to make you more aware of moments or opportunities when you can pay more attention to your sleep patterns and how to make more time for yourself in bed.
Be conscious of overworking yourself and set boundaries.
Mindy Kaling’s second book title, “Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns),” might be a reference to FOMO, but for me it’s a reminder of how much I worry about other things — work, domestic chores, family obligations — instead of what’s manageable in front of me. There is often a blurred line between work-related and personal responsibilities that keeps me in a constant state of doing something. “I think just mental chatter — the to-do lists that come up of everything you have to do during the day — and the work obligations are an obstacle to rest,” says New York based therapist Elisha Mudly, L.M.SW. “A lot of people are feeling a little bit enmeshed in their home/work environment and it’s a little bit harder to disengage from work.”
Overworking, says Mudly, in many ways has become glorified and people are admired for burning the candle at both ends to get a job done, to no end. “It’s this thing that’s really elevated in our culture,” she explains. “We normalize not getting personal days, not taking mental health days. Those kind of archaic models of work are also obstacles because personal health and mental health days are still pretty new.”
Of course, just up and quitting a job isn’t a realistic or practical option, but you can start by searching for little pockets of your day where you block out time slots when you don’t check or respond to work emails or think about what’s waiting on your plate at the office the next day. Creating no-work zones in your life will allow you to be more mindful of when your professional life may be bleeding into your personal time. And, if you do work for a company where paid time off is available to you, make a point of holding yourself accountable to using the time you’re given. Admittedly, I’ve had a vacation day (or three) to roll over before because I just never stopped to take off the time. And, something tells me, I’m not alone.
Disengage from the day — your way.
For Rice, getting to a place where she could stop the digital distractions from life and work came with the simple use of her phone’s feature. “My Do Not Disturb is on from 9:00 p.m. to 10:00 a.m.,” she explains. “Even if I start work at 7 or 8 a.m., I still have that peaceful time in the morning, but from 9:00 p.m. to 10:00 a.m., that thing is set every night.” Recognizing that there’s no one right way to reclaim rest is key, especially when you’re off the clock. “Start experimenting with boundaries about ending the workday, or even thinking about how much you want to engage socially: figure out when it feels like too much or when you feel like you need alone time,” says Mudly. “What’s been useful for me is trying to tune in and ask myself, what kind of rest do I need right now? Like do I need a little Netflix, chips and chocolate? Or do I need to go for a walk and move my body, get my blood flow moving?”
Instead of scrolling social media, relax with an app.
Whoever needs to hear this: scrolling through Instagram in bed isn’t resting. As Mudly puts it, our smartphones are one of the common “false comforts” of what brings us rest. “It’s so tempting to just pick up the phone and engage an hour before bed,” says Mudly. “But often screens can be overstimulating so that can sometimes prevent rest.” Thankfully there are other ways, including through apps, that can help your body begin to wind down. “Mindfulness meditation can be helpful just to get our mind to calm down and think about one thing. There are some good phone apps that can help out — Headspace and Ten Percent Happy are good ones.” For those looking for a few more budget friendly options, Mudly says mental health apps like Shine, Lofty or Calm have tools that “help you regulate your anxiety levels, calm your nervous system down and self-soothe.”
Rethink that glass of wine.
Like many people (myself included) having a glass of vino before bed is simply adulting. “I would work late, until nine, 10, o’clock up until it’s time to go to bed. Then I have that glass of wine and whatnot,” recalls Rice, who’s also a yogi. “But I stopped doing that a couple of months ago. My sleep has greatly improved and I can never go back.”
Even if you’re choosing to drink earlier in the day, the impact it could have on your sleep health remains the same. “There’s research out there that light afternoon alcohol intake, where the blood alcohol level is 0.00 percent at bedtime, still causes sleep problems,” explains Dr. Stahl. “It can make people feel a little bit more tired, so that gives people that perception that, ‘oh, it’s helping me go to sleep,’ but in reality, it ends up causing more awakenings over the course of the night and less total sleep time. And another problem with alcohol is it can worsen or contribute to other sleep disorders, like obstructive sleep apnea and restless leg syndrome.”
Create a wind-down ritual.
On the most recent season of “Ted Lasso,” brutish Roy Kent drew his emotionally-wrought girlfriend Keeley Jones the most epic rose petal bath, complete with a “Roy Is Sorry for Not Understanding Keeley” playlist (which is available on Apple Music.) Little did Roy know, he was also helping to guarantee her a solid night of deep sleep. Relaxing soaks in the tub or stints in the shower aren’t just self-care treats, they can actually help your body prepare for bed. “A warm bath or shower taken a couple of hours before bedtime can improve our drive to go to sleep, because it drops our body temperature afterwards, and then sends those cues to our body that it’s ready to wind down and be ready for bed,” explains Stahl.
Myleik Teele, an entrepreneur and the founder of CurlBox, a subscription-based beauty product service, is a big advocate of a luxurious soak before bedtime — which is after she puts down her two young kids. It’s a hack she learned from a friend who challenged her to, each night, after her kids were in bed, just prioritize 45 minutes for herself. Now Teele uses that decompression time to indulge in a full self-care ritual complete with mood setting scents, music, and wait for it: steamed pajamas. “I started putting together my going-to-bed wardrobe,” explains Teele. “I have a section of my closet, that’s closest to the side of the tub, and it holds all of my favorite jammies hung up to slip on,” she says. “Now it’s this loving ritual, like just a big hug for all the stuff that I’ve done for the day.” Excuse me for a moment while I go start putting together my new, most-comfy bedtime wardrobe.
Remove obvious distractions from your bedroom.
When my partner and I decided to move in together, he was adamant about not having a TV in the bedroom. I balked at this initially because one of my nighttime rituals is falling asleep to a romantic comedy. However, it seems he was on to something. “We really want to use our bedroom for sleep and sleep only. That means not watching TV in bed, or reading in bed, or doing much other than trying to sleep, because you want your brain to think that, when you go into the bedroom, it’s a place to sleep, and sleep only,” explains Dr. Stahl. The room should also be as dark as possible, cooler as a reduction in bedroom temperature is ideal for better rest, and quiet. “Any kind of sound can disrupt our sleep.” Opting for room darkening window treatments for your bedroom is a simple solution that can instantly help you block out light and sound at bedtime.
