The new year can feel like the perfect time to organize and purge. But as a minimalist coach and professional organizer, I’ve seen how this dive-in approach can, surprisingly, lead you down a less straightforward path. So before you get going, explore your overarching priorities and your emotional connection to different facets of your life. Then, use your answers as the guideposts for each lifestyle and organizing decision you face in the coming year.
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Ready? Give yourself space (and a deadline) to noodle on the following six questions.
What are my downsizing goals, specifically?
Defining your goals more explicitly than “I want to simplify” will help you articulate downsizing action items for next year. For example, are your goals to reduce expenses, lower upkeep time to make time for more life experiences, eliminate some stress, or always know where to find what you need? You likely have multiple goals, so note where they support each other and where they come into conflict. Be sure to prioritize.
What’s my vision for a more minimalist lifestyle?
With your goals in hand, think about what you want your simplified life to entail. How do you want to feel when you wake up? What do you want to see when you look around? And what are specific experiences you want to engage in throughout the year? Begin to map out the general vibe, and note significant changes that following this vision will require.
How am I spending my time versus how do I think I’m spending my time?
Often there is a misalignment between the two. First, track how you’re using your time over the course of one week. Then, map out how you’d like to allocate your time in 2023 by determining in which areas you’d like to increase time spent, like devoting more time to relationships, and in which ones you’d like to cut down time spent to make room for other goals (for example, maybe you watched far more TV than you realized). Double-check that this new plan relates to your goals and vision.
What’s my relationship to the past?
Do you keep things out of sentimentality? Do you keep things because you’re afraid of forgetting them? Do you keep things representative of your past self that no longer serve you? Dig into all angles of the past. This self-discovery will help you see your stuff and systems more clearly.
What’s my relationship to money?
Money issues come up big time when simplifying, from stress around finance tracking and paperwork to discomfort with the specter of having to repurchase an item in the future if you get rid of it now. Maybe you resist letting go of things you spent a lot of money on, despite not using them. Perhaps you’re too frugal about purchasing what’s most important to you while splurging on minor quick fixes. Be honest with yourself, and all of your answers will feed into how you structure your downsizing process and the lifestyle you create.
What’s my unfinished business?
What do you want to complete before year-end, and what do you want to accept that you won’t finish? Consider the minor (e.g., unreturned orders past their send-back date) to the massive (e.g., half-started home renovation projects). Take care of unfinished business — or decide to let something(s) go.
Don’t stop your self-inquiry here, either! Keep checking in with yourself as downsize in 2023 for a successful renewal of your home and lifestyle.
While the kitchen is often the center of activity and socializing in the home — which you’ve probably confirmed this holiday season — it’s not the center of peace. That’s the bedroom’s role.
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Of course, even though your bedroom is supposed to be a haven of serenity and slumber (and, perhaps, romance), it also tends to be the dumping ground for unfolded laundry and unintended objects. Want to change that? Follow these three steps to reclaim your bedroom ahead of the new year.
Step 1: Define the purpose of your bedroom.
Because of limited space in the rest of your home, your bedroom may double as a workspace and storage for things like books, toys, workout equipment, paperwork, and more. If you want to bring some tranquil magic back into your bedroom, try to reverse this passive approach by defining precisely what your bedroom’s purpose is. Choose your bedroom’s intention based on your goals for the space and its explicit functions.
For instance, generally a bedroom is meant to be a quiet and private place to sleep and relax.
After you’ve defined the purpose of your bedroom, you’ll want to streamline the items in your room and the way you store them so that the space better represents you and the feeling you want to experience when you’re in it. Start by writing a list of the items in your bedroom that don’t meet your 2023 bedroom goals. Then, decide if you’re open to letting any of these items go. For the ones you want to keep, tour your home, seeking nooks and crannies where they may better fit. Consider purchasing any organizing products that will help you better manage the items in their new homes.
Because a bedroom is a personal space, most of your personal effects can and should live there. Think: clothes and accessories, memorabilia, a book or two that you’re reading, and possibly extra blankets and linens.
On the other hand, if you don’t regularly exercise in your bedroom, it’s best to not distract yourself with that equipment. Similarly, electronics like a TV or desktop computer may not align with the whole serenity goal. Of course, some of those items may need to remain in your bedroom out of necessity. If that’s the case, see if you can tuck some items away in your closet when you’re not using them. For any that don’t fit, take the time — and potentially some money — to organize and visually simplify these spaces. For example, maybe office supplies and small electronics can live in softly woven boxes. Perhaps you can even hide a computer monitor inside a secretary desk on the weekends.
Step 2: ID the challenges of maintaining your bedroom.
Now turn to the habits you’ve perhaps unintentionally established in your bedroom. The most common issues? Rifled-through clothes and accessories strewn on the floor and clean laundry that’s never been folded or hung. There have been volumes written about solutions for these difficulties and countless organizing devices manufactured to help you with this. Bottom line: Downsize your clothes and find the easiest system for you to maintain, understanding that that’s not necessarily the most aesthetically-pleasing one or the one you think you’re “supposed” to use. For example, if you hate putting clothes on hangers and often leave them in piles, consider using open-top bins instead.
Do skip under-bed storage, though. It always seems like a good idea until it becomes mostly forgotten and dust-encrusted. If that’s not something you want to take on the responsibility of maintaining, downsizing can help here, too.
Oh, and yes, you should make your bed every morning. A messy bed looks chaotic and unwelcoming, while a made one supports that whole idea of your bedroom serving as a peaceful respite, a place of calm and control. But this doesn’t need to be time-consuming or picture-worthy! If you know you’re not the bed-making type, go easier on yourself by not using decorative pillows and layers of perfectly aligned blankets. Instead, simply capture middle-of-the-night-sock-escapees and any other objects that have found their way onto the bed, then straighten the sheets and blankets.
Step 3: Rethink the status quo.
Even after you’ve articulated your bedroom’s purpose and addressed its challenges, something may still not feel quite right. If this resonates with you, think about whether you’re relying on the status quo to tell you what belongs in your bedroom — that may be keeping you from fully realizing your ideal space.
For example, maybe you thought a reading chair was a must-have for a perfectly styled bedroom — but you’ve come to realize that yours simply takes up space and makes the room feel “messier,” and you’ve got a bed to sit on anyway. Or maybe your nightstands are becoming more like junk drawers than surfaces for your next-to-bed lamps — or they’re clogging the space you’d rather use for a reading chair. Speaking of your bed, do you even need one? Seriously. One of my clients opted for a hammock instead! Or maybe you’d prefer a mattress without a frame or headboard?
Skip the assumptions about what must be in your space. The status quo stifles your creativity, and it makes it more difficult to define your bedroom’s intention and conquer the current challenges you face maintaining it — and enjoying it.
Housing in America takes many forms: apartments, condos, single-family homes, multi-family developments, multi-generational living, tiny homes, mobile homes, RVs, and more.
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Buttraditionalhousing in America typically focuses on owning a single family home. As someone who has personally taken a different approach to housing — our family of five lives in an 1,100-square-foot mobile home — I wanted to see how others were transforming their ideas of housing in today’s market. I talked with four people who rethought the traditional model in favor of focusing on what works for their family’s unique situation.
They saw downsizing as a challenge — and a way to rethink their habits.
Brandi Berg and her family have progressively downsized over the last few years. At the same time, the size of her family has grown. “We sold our home in the country with five acres and moved into our 1,100-square-foot apartment to pursue my husband’s business a year before buying our little home,” she says. “So we were at a great point to ‘try it out,’ especially while our two kiddos were young.”
After this stint of apartment living, they bought a 650-square-foot one-bedroom house and added a second bedroom — and two more kids — making their home 750 square feet total. This shift has helped Berg focus on being intentional with what comes into the home. “Straying from the traditional home allowed our family to prioritize our time,” she says. “With owning two businesses, we were swamped and constantly running, and then when home we were weighed down with all the home tasks. We had a chance to reset our thinking and create new habits.”
Berg found that the biggest change she experienced “really came down to what we bring into our home.” This extended from her children’s clothes — each child has one drawer — to the groceries they buy. “Living small, you are limited to cabinet space, and I’m not one who likes having dry goods on the counter or top of the fridge, therefore I had to be strategic about what we brought into our home, really thinking about what would be consumed until our next grocery pick up.”
As a designer, this experience showed Berg a different way to look at housing. “I realized through living small that we build large houses here and we need to start rethinking how we construct our new buildings,” she says. “The footprint on earth we use doesn’t need to be wide. Maybe we just go taller, or maybe we spend more time planning how we use our spaces and create a home that fits our lifestyles, while eliminating unused space. I am not saying we all need to live small by any means, but I do think we need to build our spaces with intention.”
Thinking about the past has helped Berg look forward to the future as she designs her home. “Through the years, our ancestors lived differently,” she says, “and when we take a moment to understand why they created homes the way they did, we can incorporate what works for our families, while adding in modern ways of living.” Soon, the Berg family will begin another housing journey: renovating a larger Victorian house that will fit their needs in their next phase of life.
They took advantage of the housing market and downsized to an apartment.
Ashley Calderwood and her husband sold their home last year and decided to downsize while they waited for building prices to come down to build on their lot. They live in a two bedroom, 1,400-square-foot apartment along with their eight year-old daughter.
When they decided to sell their home and build new, they considered staying in their house until the new one was built, but “in the end, we took advantage of the housing market and the appreciation of the value of our home and decided to sell prior to building,” Calderwood says. “This also was a crucial step as we needed the money from our current home to put into the new home build.”
Calderwood explains that apartment living hasn’t been ideal. With an eight-year-old who loves to play outside, “we’ve had to rely solely on traveling to parks in order to enjoy time outdoors.” And downsizing from a 3,300-square-foot house to a 1,400-square-foot apartment meant “we had to sell a lot of our larger furniture and we currently rent a monthly storage unit.” She also says that while renting is less than the cost of their mortgage and home upkeep, “our monthly housing payment is now a ‘bill’ instead of an equity investment.”
Renting also has its advantages. “It is a relief to know that if something in our apartment needs repair, it’s not our responsibility,” she says. They also enjoy the building’s amenities like “heated underground parking which is a lifesaver in the cold winter months.” That plus a private movie theater and large community room for large gatherings help balance the negatives.
After nine months in the apartment, Calderwood says, ”despite its benefits, apartment living has not been ideal for us as a family, and I am looking forward to having additional space, privacy, home equity, and a yard again.”
They moved in with family while they built their new home — and rode out part of the pandemic.
“Not many people willingly move back in with their parents in their 30s,” says Kat Boogaard, a freelance writer in Wisconsin. And it wasn’t just her — she brought her husband, four-month-old son, and two dogs. “It was a lot of living creatures under one roof,” she adds.
At the start of the pandemic, they knew they wanted to build in the near future, and the housing market was getting really hot. So, they decided to sell their home, but needed somewhere to go while they waited for their new home to be finished.
“My parents had plenty of space and were kind and gracious enough to welcome us in without a second thought,” she says. “I know not everybody has that option or privilege, so I felt really lucky that we had such a comfortable place to crash.”
Their timeline partially lined up with the COVID-19 pandemic and stay-at-home orders, which gave them extra help and a sense of community when the world seemed like it was turned upside down.
Among the benefits, which she says far outweighed any downsides, were that her parents got to spend lots of time with their grandson. “They still share such a special bond with him, and I think a lot of that is because they had near-constant exposure to him during the first year or so of his life,” Boogaard says. She now firmly believes that “four adults to one child is the ideal child-raising ratio!”
In addition to help with their son, they all pitched in to help around the house. “There are more people to take the dog out,” she points out, “or unload the dishwasher. Or run an errand. In all honesty, life felt a lot less stressful.”
“As for the drawbacks,” she says, “there weren’t too many.” Even though most people groan when she tells them they lived with her parents, they “seriously enjoyed it and look back at that time fondly — almost with a sense of homesickness.” But privacy and alone time were at a premium, and getting used to other people’s habits took some adjustment.
They had always planned on multi-generational living.
Dr. Sid Khurana, a psychiatrist in Las Vegas, Nevada, had always planned on his parents living with his family as they got older. While this setup is considered non-traditional in Western cultures, he says “in many other cultures, it is quite common for housing to be multi-generational.” In fact, multi-generational households are on the rise, and “especially since the COVID pandemic, more and more people are choosing this option, considering the ultra high cost of living and housing.”
Khurana valued his upbringing and saw the sacrifices his parents made so he and his siblings could have the best possible life and education. His wife had a similar experience growing up and “thus completely saw the value of multi-generational living for the support, the companionship, and the aspect of giving back.”
He notes the various benefits he sees for his children, and thinks back to when his son was four and was asked to draw his family for a school assignment. “It was interesting to see that he drew our nuclear family as well as my parents,” he says, “so he had internalized the concept that paternal grandparents are part of his own family, and not just extended family visiting us.” The kids also get to learn about their family’s food, culture, and traditions, and get closer to their roots.
As with Boogaard, the benefits of living with extended family far outweigh any drawbacks. But they are conscious of managing boundaries, and “we all remain committed to making it work, and thus maintain communication and stay solution focused.” They are all aware of the value of the right set up and space so that boundaries can be maintained.
Making decisions that benefit you and your family can look different from what others are doing. While “traditional” housing has its place, there are lots of other options that can allow you the space to change the way you live. The bottom line? Do what works for you.
Lauren Wellbank is a freelance writer with more than a decade of experience in the mortgage industry. Her writing has also appeared on HuffPost, Washington Post, Martha Stewart Living, and more. When she’s not writing she can be found spending time with her growing family in the Lehigh Valley area of Pennsylvania.
So you’re about to downsize the stuff in your room or your entire home. Maybe you’ve been putting it off for a while, or you just felt a spark of inspiration. Either way, it will be an elevating and refreshing experience! You’re going to do great.
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As a minimalist lifestyle coach, I’ve seen some of the same tripping points over and over when people embark on a downsizing project. If you’ve hit these roadblocks before, you’re far from alone — but addressing them ahead of time is vital for a less stressful and more effective experience.
Mistake #1: Beginning Without a Plan
Diving right in dodges the problem of procrastination, but a little planning ahead saves stress down the line. For example, start by deciding where you’ll donate items. Create a spreadsheet of items to sell (and where), add downsizing sessions to your calendar, and set a deadline for the entire project. Consider selecting an accountability buddy ahead of time to help keep you on track.
Mistake #2: Keeping Things for the Sake of Others
“Why do you have a second yoga mat and sleeping bag?” I asked a client who was in the process of downsizing. She replied, “Because I wanted an extra one to give to people if they need it.” It’s always nice to lend a hand, but don’t add this responsibility to your piles of stuff.
Avoid keeping items as a favor or out of guilt, like the tchotchke from your mother-in-law or the book a friend bought (assigned?) you. It’s challenging enough to determine what you want for yourself, let alone worrying about other people’s preferences.
Mistake #3: Organizing Before Downsizing
Bringing like items together, even if spread across different nooks, crannies, or rooms, is a precursor to auditing your possessions. At this stage, you may be tempted to jump right into organizing because putting things away is easier than deciding whether to keep them. But first, focus on winnowing it all down to the lowest possible number of items you want to keep, and then determine the best way to arrange what’s left.
As Susan David, author of “Emotional Agility,” says, “Emotions are data, not directives.” Difficult emotions will come up, but that doesn’t mean you should stop downsizing. Maybe you just need a break.
Feelings might lead you to keep things out of guilt, shame, or because they require emotional unpacking. Fear may arise when letting go of things you think you might miss or regret giving away later. This fear is a helpful signal, alerting you that you are so afraid of making mistakes that you’ve defaulted to retaining more than you need. Work through the fear and acknowledge that missing something later doesn’t necessarily mean you shouldn’t let it go now.
Mistake #5: Overlooking the Minutiae
Touch each item to make an active decision to keep it or not keep it. While people are accustomed to doing this with clothes and books, they often overlook less exciting or minor things, or things you don’t interact with as much: items in a junk drawer, a toolbox, a memory box, or a shelf with extra bathroom supplies. Everything is on the chopping block!
When you look at each item individually, you make discoveries like: “I don’t even like this shampoo anymore,” or, “I haven’t used a single item in this toolbox except this screwdriver, so maybe that’s all I need to keep.” Downsizing minutiae leads you to combine contents of bins or rediscover forgotten items that can enter your regular rotation.
Avoiding these five common mistakes will prevent you from becoming derailed during the downsizing process. As a result, you’ll use your time more efficiently and enjoy greater control of your home and life.
